Amen

Every person with kids will appreciate this, and every one who ever wonders what those of us with kids do all day NEEDS to read it. Courtesy of a friend's Facebook post.

Random thoughts on a rainy day

I am so friggin' bored I think I have actually lost my mind. I haven't blogged because I have not much to blog about. But I'm so bored on this morning in particular, I've decided to share everything that's floating around in my head the past couple of days...

• Holy crap, if Congress doesn't pass this stimulus package WITH the $15k tax credit for homebuyers, Sweetie and I are totally screwed. Without boring everyone with the details, we did our 2008 taxes the other night, and that tax credit means everything to us. So much so, that we've had to postpone the closing on our house to make sure that if it does pass, we'll be able to qualify for it. We were supposed to close on Friday. Obama wants to sign the bill by Monday. Time is of the essence here people! How many times a day can I check CNN.com for status updates?
• What's the point in packing if we can't start taking boxes over to the new house this weekend? (See supra). It's not like we have that much to pack -- most everything is still in boxes in the basement. I have, however, reorganized almost everything we own, complete with printed labels from my label maker. Awesome.
• This morning, Luke was attempting to put a barette in my hair. After he finished, I asked him if he thought I looked pretty. He said no. Noah, from his spot on the potty doing his morning business, shouted, "You are pretty in my eyes, mommy." Awwwww.
• I can't wait until Luke starts preschool.
• Why is kindergarten in Minnesota only 2 and half hours long? They call it a half-day, but it's not. It's only a third of a regular school day. Idiots.
• When, dear God, is Luke going to be potty trained? He wipes his own butt when we change his diaper, so why can't he just go on the damn toilet?!?!?!?
• I keep losing to Matt Robertson on Scramble. This bothers me.
• I hate clomid. I hate having to be on clomid. I hate that clomid didn't even work last month. I hate that I have no idea what the hell happened inside of my body to necessitate the clomid. I hate that no one knows if clomid is actually going to address the undiagnosed problem, but that I'm on it anyway. I hate that I have no idea when or if we are ever going to have another baby. I hate that I have such control issues.
• How the hell did Jon & Kate +8 afford such a huge house? I want a tractor, too.
• Noah doesn't know what "cheat" means. Luke doesn't know what "that's not fair" means. Nevertheless, they both use them frequently and fervently.
• Is Harvest Brown the right choice for the kitchen cabinets? Or should I go with Parisian Taupe? And should I go with brushed nickel hardware or antiqued bronze?
• 10 years ago today Sweetie kissed me for the first time. 10 years: 6 apartments, 2 rented houses, 2 owned (almost) houses, 3 states, 5 cars, 5 jobs, 2 kids, 1 cat, 1 dog, countless moments of perfection and bliss. I love you Sweetie.
  

The New House!!

As many of you know, a couple of weeks ago Matt and I got completely fed up with renting this tiny, tiny house with its detached garage and lack of dining room. More than that, we were sick of not knowing what our future held. We were constantly on edge waiting for notification of a showing on our Charlotte house, counting the days until our lease ran out here, worried that our Charlotte house wouldn't sell in time. Preschools have their deadlines for applications coming up, and kindergartens are starting to host the open houses for next year's students. We couldn't deal with either one of those things because we had no idea where we'd be living. The life in limbo got too much for us, and we decided that we'd been living our life "on hold" for too long. So, we decided that come hell or high water, we were going to buy a house. Either we'd qualify for a mortgage (thank you Mom and Dad!) or we'd BEG someone with a vacant house to let us rent it from them pursuant to a contingent offer to buy. We drove our realtor crazy and scoured every single part of the city we'd want to live for anything we'd be willing to call home.

And we found it. In all it's 1960 ranch glory!

This house is NOTHING like our house in Charlotte, and I never would have imagined that I'd be willing to buy a "fixer upper," let alone be excited about it, but I AM! In fact, I'm ECSTATIC! Fortunately, the only fixing the house needs is cosmetic. Lots and LOTS of paint! But the bones are fantastic. It has almost 3000 square feet all together, including the unfinished storage. Four bedrooms and 2 baths upstairs, and a guest bedroom and bath downstairs. It has an exercise room and a couple of storage rooms, one that's already set up as a workshop for my carpenter-wannabe husband, and a big playroom and family room downstairs. All together it has 3 fireplaces, one of which has 2 compartments and is in the dining room/kitchen, so we can cook on it. It is on a quiet street on a huge lot, so I have lots of room and sun to garden my ass off. It's a short walk from a nature preserve with a nature center and playground and, in the other direction, a park with a lake. We close in a week and a half and having it painted before we move in on the 26th. And we have LOTS of room for visitors -- even more room than we did in Charlotte. So come on people!!

What happens when you wake up and it's -21 degrees...

You read that right -- it's negative 21 degrees Fahrenheit outside right now, at 8:08 a.m. CST. The windchills are in the mid -40s. So when your alarm goes off at 6 a.m., and you hear MPR (that's Minnesota Public Radio) telling you it's one of the coldest days in this decade and they start reporting the school closings, this is what you do:

1) Immediately abandon all plans to get up and go to the gym before you husband leaves for work. That was a stupid idea anyway.
2) Hike up the humidifier next to your bed. You can practically feel the forced air heat sapping each ounce of moisture from your body.
3) Warn your husband about how car exhaust creates black ice on roadways, and how, when it's this cold, salt on the roads is wholly ineffective, so he should be extra careful when driving to work today (and then when going to the hockey game tonight).
4) Roll over and go back to sleep until your kids wake you up.
5) A few minutes later, when your kids wake you up, and you get them situated with their morning milk and dose of Scooby Doo, with the full expectation that they will rarely leave the couch for the rest of the day, except perhaps when you tempt them with making dinosaur-shaped cookies this afternoon.
6) Cancel the kids dentist appointments for the day. It's too cold for the dentist.
7) Decide against going to the moms' group. It's too cold for the moms' group.
8) Make a large pot of coffee and fetch the Bailey's from the liquor cabinet.
9) Spend the day knitting, challenging Irene to Facebook wordgames, pondering the meaning of my existence, moderating toy-related squabbles, preparing for my Westlaw contract job, and otherwise watching the minutes tick by. You know you're jealous.

Words to Live By

"There have always been motherfuckers. There will always be motherfuckers. We can't let them rule our motherfucking lives." -- John Oliver, The Daily Show

We wish we had written this...

Courtesy of Matt Robertson at CWT....

M E M O R A N D U M

TO: Stober Family Members, Newton Highlands Branch

FROM: Marc Stober, Chief Operating Officer

DATE: November 21, 2008

SUBJECT: The Financial Crisis

With the recent news on Wall Street, I have been hearing many concerns about our organization’s situation and wanted to take this opportunity to detail what we are doing from the top.

First, there will be no layoffs.

As you know, we are operating at a deficit this year, due to extraordinary child care and preschool expenses. It is important to note that this is unrelated to the general financial crisis, and these expenses are fully funded through school year 2008-9.

In terms of recurring revenue, our employers have indicated that they are committed to continuing at present levels on a monthly basis. However, they are also facing pressure, and, based on our discussions with them, we are budgeting for a significantly smaller increase in revenue compared to what we have seen in recent years.

At present, our greatest exposure is highly leveraged real estate debt used to purchase our primary residence. While related debt service is our largest recurring expense, the good news is that this is a fixed expense that will not increase until at least 2013. We believe our investment is fundamentally sound, and will achieve long-term growth while continuing to provide immediate benefits through use of the underlying assets, regardless of the current market.

Our extended family’s long history of continuous operation through difficult times–including the Great Depression–gives us the strength to navigate in the present climate. However, in light of the global financial situation, there are some measures we are taking to cut back expenses. We feel these measures are prudent to preserve cash flow in the face of uncertain growth and unfavorable credit prospects.

The most difficult budget issue is transportation, and we have not made any final decisions. As you know, our second car was scheduled for replacement at the end of this school year, and we may decide to extend its service life. The reason we have not made a final decision is that repair costs required for this course of action are yet unknown. While this is potentially disappointing, keep in mind that our primary car still serves over 80% or our non-transit transportation needs. We committed to meeting those needs, and through a program of regular maintenance (that has not been cut), we have not had any unplanned downtime for a primary car in over 4 years. Additionally, thanks to successful strategic planning undertaken by the Board, we are uniquely situated for a suburban family to be able to utilize the MBTA as a safe, cost-effective option.

In the Travel and Entertainment category, you will find that fewer requests to eat in restaurants will be approved, and requests for desserts in restaurants, particularly, will not be approved (unless they are included in the cost of a kid’s meal). In the case of Cabot’s or The Cheesecake Factory, where ice cream or cheesecake, respectively, is kind of the point, sharing is strongly encouraged. An additional benefit of this will be improved health. Netflix has been put on hold for 90 days, and we will reconsider that offering then; unopened red envelopes left on top of the TV indicate a lack of demand at present. Newspaper and magazine subscriptions are subject to elimination as well. Executives, including myself, are being asked to purchase regular coffee in place of more expensive coffee drinks while traveling, and to utilize meals from our on-site food service provider whenever possible.

Charitable giving will continue, primarily to organizations to which we have supported on a regular annual basis, and new requests will be considered individually.

All major vacations, home improvements, and furniture purchases are temporarily put on hold, unless essential. Pre-approved food and clothing purchases can continue as needed and may be subject to increased budget scrutiny.

Lastly, note that we have no plans to add human resources. Requests for non-human resources (i.e., pets) may be considered in a future fiscal year.

The bottom line is that while the coming years may not be everything we want, we will stay together and have great stories to tell the grandkids.

Happy Thanksgiving.

One of the funniest scenes ever!

I love this one...