What we learned last night

• If you hear thunder, do not stall in putting your children to sleep. If it is anywhere near 6 p.m. or later, and you hear a distant rumble, fast forward and instigate the nighttime routine immediately. Do not hesitate. Do not pass go. Do not stop to collect your $200.

• In the unfortunate event that you attempt the nighttime rituals amidst a thunderstorm, press on as if nothing is happening. Ignore it completely. If your children ask, "what was that noise?", respond, "What noise?" If they ask, "what is that flashing light?", respond, "I didn't see anything. Go brush your teeth."

• In the horrific, nightmarish occurrence that a particularly violent lightening bolt strikes the transformer at the back of your property line, causing your house to lose power at the exact moment that you are laying your two-year old into his crib, DO NOT ABORT! Again, continue putting him to bed. Soothe his screams if you must, but DO NOT GET HIM OUT OF HIS CRIB! And with respect to the four-year old in the house, immediately give him a flashlight, tell him he gets to "camp out," and leave his room. DO NOT wait 3 hours to attempt this tactic -- you will only have wasted invaluable time that you will never get back.

• Never wait until "later" to make dinner for you and your husband if you own an electric stove. "Later" might not come. You never know when you'll have to go to bed hungry, having attempted to satiate your hunger with dried cereal while cowering in the back of your pantry, away from your children, so they don't see you eating and attempt to score themselves a "snack" notwithstanding their failure to finish the avocado and blueberry portion of their dinners.

• Don't bother trying to read your children books by flashlight. They'll be way more interested in the flashlight than the books.

• Coleman laterns are AWESOME! Sure, we've yet to make that camping trip we fantasized about when we bought it, but it sure did come in handy last night. Other items that, after last night, we will never live without: 1) a Thomas the Tank Engine computer; 2) a Leapster (with Thomas and Lightening McQueen games); 3) sweetie's Blackberry; and 4) Dr. Seuss books (which were enjoyed once we turned off the flashlight). Items that we will be disposing of immediately: 1) our microwave, stove and alarm system, and any other appliance that causes itself to beep incessantly either immediately upon return of power or within the ensuing FIVE HOURS, regardless of the fact that it is 11 p.m., 2 a.m. or 4 a.m.; 2) my Kathy Smith Intermediate Yoga DVD -- what was I thinking?? (Sure I learned that this morning and not last night, but I wanted to share it anyway...

• Finally, the biggest lesson of last night: Never, ever, ever let a two-year old (or at least our two-year old) sleep in your bed with you and your spouse. Ever. Even if it's a king-size bed that you recently purchased for just such an event. No bed is big enough for Luke.