What happens when you wake up and it's -21 degrees...

You read that right -- it's negative 21 degrees Fahrenheit outside right now, at 8:08 a.m. CST. The windchills are in the mid -40s. So when your alarm goes off at 6 a.m., and you hear MPR (that's Minnesota Public Radio) telling you it's one of the coldest days in this decade and they start reporting the school closings, this is what you do:

1) Immediately abandon all plans to get up and go to the gym before you husband leaves for work. That was a stupid idea anyway.
2) Hike up the humidifier next to your bed. You can practically feel the forced air heat sapping each ounce of moisture from your body.
3) Warn your husband about how car exhaust creates black ice on roadways, and how, when it's this cold, salt on the roads is wholly ineffective, so he should be extra careful when driving to work today (and then when going to the hockey game tonight).
4) Roll over and go back to sleep until your kids wake you up.
5) A few minutes later, when your kids wake you up, and you get them situated with their morning milk and dose of Scooby Doo, with the full expectation that they will rarely leave the couch for the rest of the day, except perhaps when you tempt them with making dinosaur-shaped cookies this afternoon.
6) Cancel the kids dentist appointments for the day. It's too cold for the dentist.
7) Decide against going to the moms' group. It's too cold for the moms' group.
8) Make a large pot of coffee and fetch the Bailey's from the liquor cabinet.
9) Spend the day knitting, challenging Irene to Facebook wordgames, pondering the meaning of my existence, moderating toy-related squabbles, preparing for my Westlaw contract job, and otherwise watching the minutes tick by. You know you're jealous.