It's starting! IT'S STARTING!!!

Fantastic news everyone! We've seen the light at the end of Luke's diaper-wearing tunnel!

By way of background, our experience to-date with potty-training went something like this...

We really thought it would be nice to only have one child in diapers at a time, and we naively thought it would be possible to have Noah potty-trained by the time he was 28 months old (when I was due with Luke). My mother told me, having potty-trained three boys herself, that I was dreaming. All but one of my friends with boys with boys echoed my mom. But my friend Katie is a wizard, and she had her son Trace trained within a month of his 2nd birthday, so I thought there was hope. Noah was more than happy to remind me who was boss. He steadfastly refused to even get near the toilet. We tried sitting; we tried standing. We used a stand-alone potty training seat; we tried one that sat inside a regular toilet. Nothing worked. We bribed him just to get him to try to sit on the toilet seat, but he still refused. One of my lowpoints as a mom came when I put Noah's favorite movie on the portable DVD player, and armed myself with a half gallon of juice and a gigantic bag of M & M's. I sat him on the toilet, put on the movie, and forced juice down his throat while offering him candy every time he tried to get off. I was so desperate just to get him to see the pee pee come out of his body in pathetic, misguided hopes that he would understand the cause and effect thing of bladder functioning. And hour and a half passed, and I gave up all hope that he would pee. I told him to get off the toilet and follow me into his room to put a diaper on. He peed on the carpet in the hallway on the way to his room.

At that point, I consulted the experts (among them, Mom, and the pediatrician). They all said he was clearly not ready, and not to bother at all any more. "Just wait until he turns 3, and then try again." Fine.

We spent Noah's 3rd birthday in the Dominican Republic for our friends' wedding (shout out to the Hellers). We were all in the pool on the morning of Noah's birthday, swimming, hanging out, and making frequent trips to the swim-up pool bar (widely known as one of God's best inventions). Noah was standing on the side of the pool, and started jumping up and down. It looked like he perhaps was having a seizure. Little did we know this was the pee pee dance! He didn't seem to know what was going on at first either -- he looked dreadfully bewildered. But then he turns to us and says, "I need to go pee pee in the potty." After we recovered from the shock, Matt took him to the cabana toilet by the pool, and he stood there and peed, as if he'd been doing it for months. And that was it. (Note that the second time in Noah's life that he used the "big boy potty" was later that evening. In the middle of B&N's ceremony, he stood up on his chair and announced to his father, "I need to pee pee in the potty again!" Thank God we were in the back row. That would have been an interesting commentary on the wedding video.)

Anyway, given that experience, we had prepared ourselves for another year (at least!) of changing Luke's diapers. And while I'm being careful not to jinx us, it might not be that bad... A couple of months ago, Luke started copying Noah's bathroom trips. Whenever the mood struck him (which is happening more and more frequently lately), Luke will march to the bathroom, lift up his t-shirt and lean into the toilet bowl, and stand there for a second. Then he says "all done," flushes, and insists on washing his hands (yay!). Well a few days ago, after an obvious moment of deep concentration and grunting, he patted his butt and said, "Uh oh, poop." (This happened in the middle of the Lowe's.)

And here it is -- this morning, about 15 minutes after we put on a new diaper and got him dressed, he grabbed his "winkie" area, and said, "Pee pee! Pee pee!" Then he RAN into the bathroom, lifted up his shirt and leaned into the toilet. I hurriedly removed his diaper, and sure enough, he had just PEED!! Do you realize what this means! He was aware of the fact that he'd peed, and he connected that event to the toilet! THIS IS INCREDIBLE!!! Now we just have to make the realization come BEFORE the act!

Wish us luck. This has all the potential of being one of the happiest moments of my time as a parent.

A Very Important Announcement

My fellow Americans,

I have been confronted with the reality that I spend too much time playing games on Facebook. How much time, you ask? Just check out my profile page, or any other page that informs the viewer what "Mary has been doing" recently. It seems ALL I've been doing is "beating my personal best" or "finishing another game." Do I have no life at all? No, apparently I don't.

Now, I know may surprise many of you, but I have somewhat of an addictive personality. It's possible I have been addicted to various things in the past. And when I'm blessed with a wake-up call, I know it's time to move on. For example, when you're four-year old asks, "Mom, are you playing the letter game again?", you know it's time to stop playing the letter game.

So, to my dear friends whose competition I've enjoyed so, so much in the past few weeks, please do not nudge me. And do not take it personally when I ignore all Facebook-generated attempts to get me to finish our games. I must allow our games to go unfinished. I simply can't go on like this anymore.

And to Hannah, the naive, well-intentioned friend who became aware of the depth of my obsessive personality only AFTER introducing me to the evil temptress known as "Scrambulous," please do not ever do that to me again. Or prepare to babysit my children, make my dinner, clean my house, engage in interesting conversation with my husband and perform all such other tasks I neglect while I explore a new fixation.


RIP Scramble, Scrabulous and Wordtwist. I've deeply treasured our time together, and I will miss you terribly.

What a difference a new camera makes...

As Noah will tell you, he is a big and giant boy, with super strong muscles.

On a recent hike with the boys...

Is Luke happy or sad to be getting up from his nap?

Some tips I've come up with in my short four years as a mom...

On moving -- anywhere -- with children: There will always be a better stroller out there somewhere, so don't make yourself crazy over that decision. We've now purchased 7, yes SEVEN!, strollers in our four years as parents. In chronological order: 1) the Peg Perego (clunky and squeaky and, now, broken somewhere in a landfill); 2) the Combi (bad handle); 3) the Maclaren Volo (LOVE it; the ONLY way to maneuver the streets of Park Slope, but now has a whole in the bottom); 4) the used single jogger (ugly as sin, but still functional); 5) the Maclaren Double (heavy as hell, but gets the job done and thankfully not used too much these days); 6) the Snap 'N Go for the Snugride (how did we live without this the first time around?); and 7) the Schwinn Double jogger (still the best way to get anywhere in the neighborhood). And then we were in the Babies R Us yesterday, and I saw THIS. I want to have another baby just to buy it.

On feeding babies: High chairs are stupid, and a waste of space. Buy your baby a $25 booster seat on move on with life.

On feeding toddlers: Toddlers are a finicky, fickle bunch. The logic they apply to their food choices is beyond my comprehension. So I developed some tricks to play the game on their level.

1. Peas are not "peas," because Noah doesn't like peas. Peas are "green corn."
2. Salmon is not "salmon," because who likes salmon?? Salmon is "pink chicken."
3. Soba noodles apparently don't sound appetizing to my children, so instead, they are referred to as "chocolate spaghetti."
4. "Green french fries" = green beans.
5. "Chocolate chicken" = beef.
6. Cover a waffle in "snow" (i.e., powdered sugar) and what fun-loving 3 year-old wouldn't want to eat it? (And for that matter, make it snow -- with parmesan cheese, for instance -- over anything to transform it into something more appealing.)

On toting children around on your body: The Bjorn is the original, the tried-and-true method on carrying around a newborn. I tried a sling, but I couldn't make it work for me. And then each of the boys outgrew the Bjorn at about 4 months old (or at least it became too uncomfortable to wear), so I moved on to the Playtex Hip Hugger. At $30, it's a relatively insignificant investment that bought me extra time outside with Noah while holding onto Luke, or got me through those last 10 minutes of making dinner with a 6 month old who only wanted to be held. And, like most "yippees" (that's yuppie/hippie fusion), we bought the Kelty backpack for our hiking trips. But then we realized that kids are heavy, putting them in a backpack makes them heavier, and lifting that pack onto your upper back makes all parts of your body hurt like hell after a mere 15 minutes. So, as Luke approaches his second birthday, we thought the days of carrying him around on us were long gone. That is, until Gina visited a couple of weeks ago and introduced me to my new favorite thing -- the Ergobaby. I love absolutely everything about this invention of crazy, over-the-top attachment parenters. It's perfect. It's comfortable for me and for Luke, it's lightweight, and it's easy to use. It's machine-washable! IT HAS POCKETS!! It can fit in a suitcase for vacations, and can live in the van to be ready at a moment's notice. It allowed me to spend two hours walking around the Farm (more about our wonderful CSA on another post), and last weekend we went hiking at the US Whitewater Center, all with Luke chillin' out on my back. Every parent should have one of these. (Matt wants me to find a way to earn commissions from my recommendations...).

On wanting your children to learn to talk: This is not all it's cracked up to be. Sure it's all cute to hear them pronounce new words when they're babies, and whose heart doesn't melt the first few times (or hundred times) you see those gorgeous faces light up as they exclaim "Mama!"? But somewhere along the line, something happens, and instead you start to hear things like, "Moooommmm, I wasn't talking to YOU, I was talking to my DAD, so don't say anything to me!" And then there's the incessant "Mom, why? Mom, why? Mom, why? Mom, why?" To think that with both of our late-talkers, we were so anxious to hear them speak. So naive.

On letting your children watch TV: putting on a fourth consecutive episode of Backyardigans so you can play Scramble and draft a blog post while your spouse pours over the Sunday NY Times is okay, right?

A day in the life...

Noah is the Master of the Non-Sequitur. Some of my favorites from today:

"Mom, I'm going to need something to drink because I'm going to cuddle with Mabel now."

Me: "Noah, this is Dennis. He's gonna clean our gutters for us." Noah: "Mommy, sometimes I don't like it when mushrooms grow."

"Daddy, I need some juice because my finger hurts."

Other children -isms from today that I feel I need to share:

Luke recently learned the word "no." (He's a late talker, to say the least.) This is literally the only word that comes out of his mouth that anyone but his parents could understand. Clear as a bell. So this afternoon, he strolled up to Mabel, sat down in front of her, and said, "No!" Mabel walked away. Luke got up, followed her, sat back down in front of her and again said, "No!" Again, Mabel departed. Again, Luke followed, sat down and told her, "No!" I have no idea what Mabel was doing that Luke didn't like, but this all went on for about 5 minutes. Hysterical. Matt says I need to video these things and post them. We'll see about that...

Matt and I took the boys out for a "walk" tonight. I filled a plastic cup with a glass of wine before we left the house, because I knew this wasn't gonna be easy. We first spent the 30 minutes of the "walk" assembling a push-trike that we bought for Luke. We figured he'd enjoy being pushed around on his own bike while Noah rode his big-boy bike. We leashed the dog, grabbed the wine and the bikes, and headed down the driveway and out of the cul-de-sac. It took us 45 minutes to go the length of 3 houses. Luke only wanted to hold Mabel's leash. Then he wanted to hold her leash while he sat on his bike. Mabel only wanted to pee in the neighbor's yard. Noah didn't want to pedal his bike -- he only wanted to be pushed. Then Noah wanted to ride Luke's bike and Luke wanted to ride Noah's bike. Then they fought over who was going to hold Mabel's leash. Then Luke abandoned his pursuit of the leash when he realized Noah's bike was unattended. He made a mad dash for the big-boy bike, but he apparently forgot he's only 21 months old and can't reach high enough to climb on. This fumbling took just long enough for Noah to figure out what was going on, drop the leash and furiously attempt to reclaim his bike. So Luke starts screaming. At this point, we decide to abort our mission of cruising the block and just head back home. We ended up walking home with Matt carrying Luke and holding Mabel's leash, while Noah pushed Luke's bike and I pulled Noah's bike, wishing I'd filled my glass a little more.

Both of these stories likely fall into the category of "you had to be there," but Matt & I are about to open our second bottle of wine right now, so who the hell cares.

Info on the bad stuff in plastics

In response to the Media Dude's "kind" request for further information, I had my servants compile the following:

1) Phthalates (and DEHA): These are found all over the place -- perfume, iphones, plastics, shower curtains, nail polish, lots of things that have "fragrance" on their ingredient list (cosmetics, baby lotions, household cleaners, paint, etc.). In plastics, they are used to make the item "flexible." (Some of you, ahem, may also need to know that they are commonly used in jelly-rubber sex toys.) As usual, Europe is ahead of the U.S. on dealing with these substances -- many of them are already banned in children's toys and cosmetics. Studies are being conducted on the effects on metabolic, endocrine and reproductive functions. For instance, a study this year on baby care products containing phthalates showed that among infants using the products, researchers found the levels of phthalate-concentration had increased. And a 2005 study on baby boys whose mothers were exposed to phthalates during pregnancy showed "a shortened anogenital distance." And the authors of a study of Finnish boys with undescended testis hypothesized, based on their findings, that exposure to a combination of phthalates and anti-androgenic pesticides may have contributed to their condition. And in 2007, a study of men conducted by researchers at Rochester School of Medicine and Dentistry concluded that urine concentrations of four phthalate metabolites correlate with waist size and three phthalate metabolites correlate with the cellular resistance to insulin, a precursor to Type II diabetes. All that being said, no one has said conclusively that this stuff can mess with your body, and there are lots of organizations out there (like the Phthalate-Users Association of America, otherwise known as NAMBLA), that says they are perfectly safe.

2) BPA: Bispenol-A is used to make plastics hard, and it's also found in the lines of most canned goods (including organic canned foods), soda cans and plastic water bottles. From The Green Guide, "According to its critics, BPA mimics naturally occurring estrogen, a hormone that is part of the endocrine system, the body's finely tuned messaging service. 'These hormones control the development of the brain, the reproductive system and many other systems in the developing fetus,' says Frederick vom Saal, Ph.D., a developmental biologist at the University of Missouri. Endocrine-disrupting chemicals can duplicate, block or exaggerate hormonal responses. 'The most harm is to the unborn or newborn child,' vom Saal says." And recent studies on rodents have linked bpa to cancers, early-onset of puberty, obesity and type-II diabetes. The U.S.'s National Toxicology Program found that even low levels of bpa can alter brain behavior and can cause changes in the prostate and mammary glands. Based on these findings, Canada is banning bpa use in baby bottles. And now our favorite NY senator, Chuck Schumer, is trying to do the same in the U.S.

Euphonious Phantasm

I'm proud announce that my brother is for sale on Amazon! His CD, that is. Check it out if you have a chance. This is my youngest brother, Matt, who's currently working on his master's degree in historical preservation from Clemson University (studying in Charleston). And he's also been a frequent commenter on this very blog! I know he's my brother, so I'm not exactly objective, but we're all totally impressed. Yay Matt!

And Noah got a "medium size guitar" for his birthday yesterday (he requested that size because, in his words, he is "a medium size boy -- not too big and not too little"). He's says he's gonna be a rock star when he grows up (and a "scuba diver who studies whales" and "a scientist of the volcanoes"). So I'll post the link to his album as soon as he's finished recording.